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[00:01:00] Hey my friend, what is up? And welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. I am so excited to have you here today. Let me tell you. These last three weeks to a month have been nothing but a complete whirlwind. You ever go through those phases in your life where it's just one thing after the next and it like never seems to be ending?
I am just starting to finally come out of that. So that's why today's episode we're going to spend today talking about really just being able to get vulnerable and ask for help when you know that you need it. This is especially true for the person who doesn't like to ask for help and wants to always be the one who can do things on their own.
Me, for example, and whether this be true in your business or your life, and you just sometimes think, listen, I totally got this, or I know I can do it better. Why bother asking anyone else, or I know I'll do it, right? Or even if you're someone who thinks that asking for help shows a sign of [00:02:00] weakness, or maybe you just don't wanna put others out and be an inconvenience, then this.
Episode is going to be for you, so get ready for this one. Now listen, I'll admit this was something that I have always struggled with, just asking for help. I've always been the type of person where it's you know what? I don't need help. I don't need anyone. I got myself. I'll do it on my own. I'm completely independent.
And this is for literally everything, including when I pull into the driveway and have a trunk full of groceries. I will literally line my arms with every single bag that I can possibly fit on. Doesn't matter how heavy they are. And even if I don't get every single one in, if I walk in the house and someone's do you need help with the groceries?
I'm like, no. I basically got it all. It's this idea of. Looking put together on the outside, but really quietly you're drowning inside. Can you relate to this? And when I think about it, I think the reason why I do this, and maybe you can relate, is a mix of a few things. Number one is being that.
I used to [00:03:00] believe that strong meant doing everything on my own. That strong and independent means that you do literally everything on your own. And I wanted to be that independent person who doesn't need anyone for anything. And if I ask for help, then it means I was failing at being that strong, independent person.
And then the other reason is just being that I really don't like to inconvenience people. I don't wanna be a burden on anyone. You ever feel like that? But the thing that I have realized over time is that. Being vulnerable and asking for help isn't a weakness. It actually shows strength. It actually strengthens you and makes you more powerful.
So I give you an example. About two weeks ago, my husband had to go in for ACL surgery on his knee. He completely tore his ACL playing flag football. This is what happens when you play flag football and you're over the age of 40 for the very first time in your life. [00:04:00] With a group of your friends, like we're too old for this lesson learned.
So he completely tore his ACL. We had been waiting for the surgery. The surgery finally happened two weeks ago, and it was. Out of control. We did not realize how the recovery process was going to be like just how slow and how hard it was actually going to be because he comes out immediately.
He's on both the crutches, I was told he wouldn't be able to drive for six to eight weeks, immediately my mind is flashing now to all of these things that now I'm going to have to do Having to take care of another person and get him every single thing that he needs because couldn't put his socks on, couldn't take his socks off, couldn't take a shower, couldn't get up to get a drink food, like anything, because he was on two crutches and he was basically bedridden.
Okay, I'd like to be bedridden right for a little bit. It was immediately, I could feel myself getting totally stressed out and overwhelmed thinking about all these things that I have to do. How [00:05:00] am I supposed to do all this? Like, how am I supposed to bring all the kids, like they're at two totally different schools?
How am I gonna do all this, deal with the sports, deal with my business, do the podcast, keep up with the housework, all the meals, stuff for now another person on top of the three little kids at home, like, how the hell am I gonna do all this? And then I finally was like, all right, listen. If people are gonna offer to help me, I'm just gonna take the help.
And so thank the lord. My parents helped out a ton with, especially the little kids. They'd pick up my older two kids all the time at school. They'd bring them back to the house here while I went and got the other one. Little Keegan on the island. They'd help around the house, they'd help watch him.
They helped with, just taking care of the flowers, food, all of that. I had friends bringing us dinners. I had another friend who was bringing home. My youngest from school multiple times during the week, and it just made my life so much easier and really, even though it was still a lot on my end, I can't even imagine how much more it would've been if I didn't [00:06:00] actually accept, help and continued to stay in this mindset of, Nope, I don't need any help.
I totally got it. We have to start small with this, and we have to learn how to reframe vulnerability in terms of asking for help. Because asking for help doesn't weaken your leadership or your independence or your who you are as a person actually strengthens and deepens that.
And so letting people support you gives them a chance to make an impact and make a difference. It gives them that opportunity. To have a positive impact on someone else's life, which always makes somebody feel good. Think about how good you feel when you help someone out, when you know that they're overwhelmed and you do something to help them out, just to take a little bit of the load off.
It feels good inside. It's a myth that strength comes from proving that you can do it alone. And this not only can pop up in all areas of your life, but in your business, it can show up as well. And here are some of the ways that you can start to see this in your business. And if you're running a business, maybe you can relate to some of this, but look like.
[00:07:00] Refusing to delegate tasks even when you're super overwhelmed with what you're already doing, or never outsourcing at home, not asking any of your clients or audience what they really need and want, and just assuming that you know what people want. Basically only showing that highlight reel all the time and not sharing the messy middle because you think that you always have to have it together and look all put together to be taken seriously.
Saying yes when you really need to say no, right? Like how many times do you catch yourself overcommitting and saying yes to so many different things and then you feel stressed out because now you've committed to all these different things and then you can't even follow through on them all.
So listening to that. Intuition and learning to just say no is super important. Another example where this might pop up in your business is never investing in mentorship or coaching because you think, Hey, I should be able to figure this out by now. And so you stay stuck in this trying to do everything yourself method, even when that support could actually fast track your success.
[00:08:00] Another way is you feel burnt out. You feel burnt out and then you blame yourself and instead of seeing that you actually need more help in your business, you internalize it as a personal failure or weakness. So like I said, we wanna start small this. So little things like, saying to someone, can you grab this from me?
Or Can you look at this? Can you look this over and tell me what you think? Could I have feedback? Please on this. Little things like that go a long way and will help move you closer to getting comfortable with asking for help. And each time that we ask for this small amount of support, we're reminding ourselves that others helping is not a burden, right?
Gotta keep even reminding myself that asking for help and asking others to help is not me burdening them. Another piece of this as well is. Trusting that your worth is not tied to the things that you do. So stop and think for just a second. And [00:09:00] where in your business or in your life do you feel like you're overdoing it to protect this image?
Maintain this image as if you have it all together. Where does this pop up for you in your life? And then I want you to choose that just one place where you can genuinely ask for help without apologizing. Because how many times do you hear yourself say things like, yeah, I'm really sorry, but can you do this for me?
Or, when you have time, can I get your feedback on this? Sorry. And then you always have that apology for it, right? We wanna stop that. You shouldn't be apologizing when you're asking for help, right? It's okay to ask for help. You need to ask for help. Everybody needs help. And the people who are rising to the top and who are.
Soaring in their business and in their career and have stable, thriving relationships. These are people who not only give help, but they ask for help as well, because doing life big, it isn't just about [00:10:00] doing it all right? When I name this podcast, Do Life Big, it's not just about doing it all, it's really just about allowing yourself to be a freaking human, allowing yourself to be brave enough to lead and open enough to receive.
And a really sweet friend of mine that I got to see at our last business event out in Arizona. She said to me something along the lines of this, that your ability to be able to receive is strongly correlated to the amount of income you receive in your business. And so stop and think about that if you have a hard time even receiving compliments, right?
Somebody gives you a compliment. You should say, oh, thank you very much. If you are constantly pushing it away, knocking it down, dismissing it, then you're not receiving. And so think about that for a minute here. How often do we do this? it makes perfect sense because if you're not open to receiving, to asking for help and then accepting it, you're actually [00:11:00] closed off and repelling what you actually want.
So your next level isn't going to be about more effort in your business. It's going to be about accepting more support. And really quick before I let you go for today's episode, if you are a mom who's building a business and you're craving that support strategy, serious mindset shifts, my Empowered Mom's Business Circle is going to be opening soon.
I know I've been saying this for a long time, but it has been a lot more work than I thought to get this up and going. So it's going to be up and going soon. Make sure that you click the link. Below in the show notes to get your name on the wait list so you can get all the details when it's about to open.
You can go to www.kathireuter.com/empowered moms. Anyways, I hope that you enjoy today's episode, and thanks for being here. You know I love you and I will see you the next time. Bye.
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