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[00:01:00] Hey, my friends, what is up? And welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. I am coming at you this time this week from our mountain home up in North Carolina. And this is the podcast where we stop shrinking ourselves to fit into these little stupid boxes that we've outgrown and we really start living fully, freely, and from a place that's rooted in truth.
So I'm really glad that you're here with me today because today I wanted to talk about something a little personal, something that hit me recently, actually two days ago, and it left me reflecting deeply and it all started with this ridiculous dream that I had the other night, which by the way, if you have not done this already, Chat.
GPT does an amazing job of analyzing your dreams. Have you ever tried this? I'm serious. I do this all the time. If you remember your dreams immediately, take out your phone, describe it in full detail, explain what happened, explain if you remember having any kind of [00:02:00] feeling or emotion in the dream as certain things happened.
And then just ask Chat GPT to analyze that dream, and it is freaking mind blowing when it spits out. So this episode is inspired by this dream that I actually had the other night. And in this dream, I was at a network marketing event. Now you guys know that back in the day, that was my first business. It was network marketing with Beachbody for nine years.
It completely changed my life, right? But four years ago, I just decided that this wasn't the path I wanted to go down. I've completely outgrown this now. It wasn't aligned anymore. I wasn't finding joy and purpose in it anymore, and I knew that I was being called to just go off and create my own program, the Mindset Accelerator, launch this podcast, do life big, and start my own coaching on my own.
So in this dream, I'm at this network marketing event, you know, and it's one of those like really big, exciting conferences if you've ever been to one before. And someone who used to be on my team, a former coach from Beachbody, was actually there with us. And I remember I was in the dream and Nick was [00:03:00] with me, and it was like I knew when I was in the dream that I wasn't building this business anymore.
I wasn't building that network marketing business, whatever one we were there for. I wasn't for beach body. It was something totally different. So I had already made that clear in my dream that I'm not building this business, but I was just there at the event. You know, probably a foam wall thing. I tend to get that a lot.
And so we're there and this former coach in Beachbody was also there and she was with this new company and she was just like so freaking excited about how awesome things were going for her. And she was sharing about like how proud she was and she was going to be recognized in the top percentage of the company and other coaches that were on our team, even though I weren't, you know, I wasn't building it.
Were asking her like, what's our team name and what's all this, that, and the other thing, because I wanna share how exciting it is to be a part of a team that's in the top percentage of the company. And you could just see just the pride beaming out of her, the joy that, just that energetic. Frequency, that energetic vibe.
You know what I'm talking about right? When you're around people like [00:04:00] that. And in my dream, I remember just kind of standing there and I remember watching her and I literally thought in my head, damn it, like I, I kind of missed that though. I missed that. it wasn't necessarily the company that I missed.
It wasn't the hustle, it wasn't the business or the business model. I didn't miss any of that, but that feeling, the recognition. That being seen and being celebrated. And when I woke up, I was like, oh, shit. I couldn't stop thinking about it. And it really just stirred something inside of me because somewhere along the way I had unknowingly tied a part of my identity and purpose to being recognized to being one of the best, to being seen as successful in the eyes of others. And if you've ever been in that place, you know what I'm talking about. Right? You know, even if you're not running your own business, we've all seen the people who just keep climbing the ladder because they want the recognition. They want to be noticed, they want to be acknowledged.
They want to be seen [00:05:00] as the best. They want to be celebrated. You know how you can fall into this trap, this shitty trap. But that dream was really a wake up call for me. And it reminded me how easy it is, especially in entrepreneurship, in motherhood, in leadership, to build our identity around what we do or how others see us.
So for years, my identity became wrapped up in being one of the top performing coaches. The one who could figure it out, the one who always could figure it out. The mom who made it work, the one who built the multi six figure business from home while raising all of her children. But then what happens when those things change?
Right? What happens when the title goes away? What happens when you decide to pivot or the spotlight moves or your results start to slow down? And if our identity is based on the external, all of this other external bullshit, we're always one shift away from literally an identity freaking crisis. kind of like building your house on sand If the conditions change.
The [00:06:00] storms come, the waves hit, the whole damn thing is just going to collapse. And suddenly we're standing here thinking, shit, who even am I anymore? What the hell do I even want? And that dream brought that feeling up for me again, and I had to really sit with it and ask myself, okay, is my identity based on something that can be taken away?
Let's really stop and think about this. And I know that I am not alone in this. And I feel like I probably had this dream because I am here now in the mountains, and every year when I come here, I just feel like I discover more about myself, and it just allows me to kind of go deep and really think about my life and what I'm doing and who I'm serving and the impact I'm making, and am I on the right path?
And it's just very therapeutic, but that's probably why I have this dream. So I know that I'm not alone in this. And so many women, especially those of us who are high achievers, entrepreneurs, moms, leaders, you name it, we build our identity around our performance, and we tie our worth to our rank, our confidence, we [00:07:00] tie to our income, our purpose, to how many people are watching or applauding.
But the truth is, you are not your business. You are not your income, you are not your career. You are not the title that you held three or five years ago and you are definitely not the version of yourself. You feel pressured to maintain, to prove that you're still relevant.
So here's the thing that I really had to realize. If your identity depends on something outside of you, it's always going to be at risk, always. Because it can be taken away. It can change at any moment at the drop of a hat. And that means your sense of self will always feel unstable. You'll always feel like you're missing something, like you're trying to search for something, but you're not quite there.
And when you root your identity in something internal like your values or your faith, or your calling or your character, then you create a foundation that's unshakeable no matter what season you're in, in life. So here's what I know for sure. Your purpose is not a title. [00:08:00] It's not a rank. It's not how many goddamn followers you have, how much money you made last month, or what company name is on your goddamn t-shirt.
Your purpose is who you are becoming along the journey, who you're becoming. It's how you live. It's how you show up when nobody's sitting there clapping for you. It's how you treat people. It's the impact you make in your home, in your circle, in your community, when there's no stage and there's no spotlight.
That dream reminded me that, yes, hell yeah. Being recognized feels amazing, doesn't it? It feels amazing to get the medals and to be applauded and to be on stage and to be there in the highlight reel. Hell yes. Yes. Hitting milestones is something to be proud of, of course, but that's not who I am. That's just something that I did, and the most freeing thing is really realizing I don't need to keep chasing.
I don't need to keep chasing the old version of success to prove something. I'm allowed to grow. I'm allowed to evolve and change my [00:09:00] mind. I'm allowed to let go of what wants to find me because something deeper is calling me now. So if you're in a season where you feel like maybe you've lost a bit of sense of yourself, right?
You might be just going through it. Maybe no one even knows. You're just battling it inside internally and you're keeping it all to yourself. If you've left something behind or something didn't work out, or you're stepping into a new chapter and feeling like shit, I just don't know who I am anymore. Let me remind you of this.
You are still you and the real you was never just a title or a role. The real you is still here and your purpose is still alive, even if the path looks different for you now. So here's what I want you to do today. This is just a little identity reset. What I want you to do is I want you to grab a piece of paper and at the top of the paper I want you to write this one question.
What have I been tying my identity to Write that down. What have I been tying my identity to? And [00:10:00] list out everything that comes to your mind. have you been tying it to your income, your job title, your body, your productivity, your status, how people see you? Whatever it is, make a long list of them.
And then, you know what I want you to do? I want you to go through with a pen, and I want you to cross them out one by one and underneath. Write these words so that you can remember. I am still me. Without this, my purpose runs deeper. I am becoming someone bigger than a title. And you can say it out loud if you need to really let it sink in because you are, you are not just what you do.
You are not just what people applaud. You are not a one seasoned wonder for God's sakes. You are evolving, you are rising, you are growing into the best version of yourself. You are more than what you used to be known for. So that dream I had, it reminded me of how tempting it is to long for old recognition.
It's the reason why I jumped into a brand new network marketing company [00:11:00] about eight months ago and quickly was like, Kathy, you're getting derailed. Don't fuck this up. Go back to what you are aligned and want to do. Don't fall for the little carrot of the recognition. It reminded me that this dream reminded me of how tempting it is to long for that old recognition, but it also reminded me that I'm not chasing titles anymore.
Screw that shit. I am chasing alignment. I am chasing growth. I am chasing truth, and I hope that you are too. Your identity is not some goddamn Halloween costume that you put on when things are going well. It's who you are. When the world gets quiet and you still choose to rise, and you still choose to show up and follow your path.
So let's stop building our worth on things that fade and can be taken from us. Let's get grounded together. Let's get clear. Let's keep becoming and growing along our journey. You're more than your results. You are worthy. You are worthy right here, right now, just in this moment without the income that you're looking for.
Without the accolades, without the rank, you're worthy right here. Right now you [00:12:00] are called. You are enough. And I really hope that you enjoyed today's episode. Please share this with someone who you think needs to hear this, and if you're interested in diving more into this and really learning how to rewire your mind for more success and happiness in your life, that's what my Mindset Accelerator program is designed to do.
That's why I created it. you can get it completely for free. When you become a member of My Empowered Mom's Business Circle, I will put the link in the show notes for you. You can go to kathireutertraining.com/enroll. You can read up all about it, and I'm happy to answer any questions that you have. But until next time, go out there, do life big and build a life that no title could ever define. Thanks so much for being here. You know I love you. I'm cheering for you. You're awesome, and I'll see you the next time.
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