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[00:01:00] Hey, my friends, what is up? And welcome back to another episode of a Do Life Big. I am so excited to have you here today. So I wanted to talk to you about something real that has actually been happening over the last couple of weeks. In my life and I just thought that, you know, after going through these couple experiences that this would be really helpful to you as well.
So I'm sitting out on my deck in North Carolina. We have two Airbnbs out in North Carolina in the mountains up here. And every summer we always come with the family and we spend like a full month up here to kind of escape the heat of Florida and just spend a lot of time just outside. Just slow mornings coffee on the deck, lots of walks, hiking, and so on and so forth.
So anyways, I'm sitting out on my deck the other night with Nick our deck overlooks. The entire backyard and we have this really big backyard. We have this cute little stream [00:02:00] that runs through it through our yard and into our next door neighbor's yard as well. And it's really nice because at nighttime when it's nice and quiet and the kids are all inside, you can hear the sounds of the stream running through our yard and it's just so peaceful.
So it's just this beautiful stream in our backyard and it's just peaceful, it's quiet, it's nice and private. I love it. Well, suddenly I'm sitting there and I look over to my right and way down below on the road, I see this random family of like seven walk onto our property, and they walk right onto our property, down through our entire backyard, down to the stream right in front of us.
We're literally sitting right on the deck and they see us like we're in plain sight. They clearly see people are out on the deck. They literally don't ask. They don't say anything. Nothing. They don't wave. They don't acknowledge us. Just act like it's theirs and it's a free for all and we can just help ourselves to this property and the stream.
And I'm not gonna lie, when this happened, I immediately got like pissed off, [00:03:00] like really pissed off and super annoyed because I was raised to have respect for others, for other people, for other people's things. And I could never imagine. Being away on vacation, walking with my family down the road, looking up at another house that we weren't staying in.
Seeing people sitting on the deck and then not even saying like, oh, hi, like, is this your stream? Is it all right if we go down and fish in it for a little while or whatever? You know, I could never just walk onto the property knowing that they were sitting there watching me and not saying anything. Do you know what I mean?
Like you get what I'm saying here. So I was immediately just so annoyed and so pissed, and my husband. He thought it was like really rude too, that they didn't ask, that they didn't say anything, that they didn't respect us, they didn't respect our things, they just acted, just entitled. but at the same point in time too, he was like, oh, there's little kids there.
Like it's fun for them. And I'm like, that's fine. I would've been more than happy to let them use the stream for a little bit if they had just said like, Hey, do you mind if we use your stream for a little bit? The kids are really excited to like use [00:04:00] their nets and catch some fish, right. anyways, I was just like so mad at this.
Now as it's going on, now we're sitting here watching it and we're thinking about how we, should we handle this? Like, are we blowing it outta proportion? I'm like, I know I'm not blowing it outta proportion. Like this is really frustrating and really annoying. I'm watching them and time's going on now, like 20 minutes goes by, 30 minutes goes by, and now they start moving further and further into our property, going up and down the stream. And then I just started to ask myself, you know, why do I get so angry when people don't respect me or my things, you know, why does it make my skin like crawl?
Like I felt like my blood was boiling. Why do I feel this way when someone acts like they're entitled to what isn't theirs? I don't know if maybe I was just extra annoyed because the week prior to this, we had a similar experience happen where we were having someone watch our home for us, take care of Landon's little hedgehog and we have cameras all on the outside of our house so we can see who comes in and out of the house.
And I happen to see the person. Who [00:05:00] was staying at our home, come into our home with some random dude at like 2:00 AM in the morning and didn't even think to ask, didn't even think to let us know. So I think between that happening and then this happening, I was like beyond annoyed because I'm like, what the hell?
Like where is the respect? None of these things belong to these people, and yet they feel like they can act like it belongs to them and disrespect. Me, Nick, my family, our homes, the things in the homes, and so on and so forth. And so today I really wanted to spend today's episode unpacking this because I know I'm not alone in this really.
I know that this will help you out, and it's gonna help me out too as I work my way through this, If you've ever felt like this before, trust me, you are not alone. You are not overreacting, you are not jumping the gun like you should always really trust your intuition and your inner feeling, and go with it.
That's what I've learned along the journey. So here's what I realized. You know, when someone crosses your [00:06:00] boundary, even if it's like a subtle one, a little simple thing, your body just knows it, It can feel it. That anger that comes up, that's not the problem really. That's just the signal, and it's really just a message saying to you, Hey, someone just totally ignored your space, your presence, your ownership, your values, like hello, that feeling that you have is completely valid because this isn't just about a damn stream in my backyard right now.
It's about what the stream represents. Your property, your peace. Your investment, your safe space, your hard work, and when someone just walks in and helps themselves without so much as a little head nod, it can feel like they're stomping all over everything that you care about. And it triggers something deep, like something really deep.
Because we all want to feel seen. We all wanna feel respected. I think that's the most important thing there. And we all wanna feel valued. So let's be honest. Right. You're someone who would never do that to someone else. [00:07:00] Like I think that's another reason why if you've ever had something like this happen to you where you felt disrespected to yourself, whether with words that someone has said to you, someone taking advantage of you, someone, taking advantage of something that belongs to you, someone feeling like entitled to something that isn't even theirs, So you know that you're someone who would never do that to someone else because you've been raised just like myself, I'm sure to respect people and to respect people's things, not to be an asshole. you've probably gone outta your way to make people feel comfortable.
If you're someone like me, you go outta your way to make people feel comfortable. You go outta your way to make people feel at home and included and considered. And you don't take something without asking, right? So when someone else does the opposite, it can feel like a total slap in the face, like your way of living and your values are being completely dismissed, and that can feel really invalidating, like.
does this person even freaking see me? And that's why you feel so disrespected when these kinds of things [00:08:00] happen. That's why it hits such a nerve. And now here's the thing, right? You are allowed to feel angry. I'm, I'm all about it. I'm all about feeling the emotions. Let yourself feel the emotions.
But I also don't believe in living in those emotions, especially if it's anger, and especially if it's resentment. Because that won't do any good for you, but I'm all about when something happens, feel the feelings, do all the feely things, deal with it, and get it out and move on. So you don't need to feel guilty or you don't need to guilt yourself for having that kind of emotional response.
If someone has crossed their boundaries with you, it's not overreacting. It's not you being dramatic. It's not being too sensitive. It's not because your period's here or it's about to come. It's about being fricking human, but. What do you do with that anger? That's the real question. That's really where your power lies, because now you have all this anger built up inside of you.
We're sitting on our deck. I'm watching this family of seven completely ignore me as if I'm a frigging ghost playing up and [00:09:00] down my yard and in my stream, not saying a darn word. I'm watching on my cameras at home. The person who's supposed to be watching our home come in and out with some random dude.
I don't know. Two things about not a goddamn thing about going in and outta my home with all of my important things and all of my valuables inside that we've worked so hard for, and the anger is there. What you do with that anger is really where your power lies Now. You can let it eat you up, or you can use it kind of as a signal to hold that boundary.
Speak up or even just kind of get clear on what really matters to you. So the next time this happens, and let's be real, it will happen again. At some point you get to decide, do I speak up? Do I set the tone? Do I let this go because it's not worth my energy? Or do I take a stand? Because peace matters, and that's up to you.
When I was sitting on the deck last night and this happened. And we let this go by for 30 minutes because honestly, I just couldn't believe how long it was going on for. I [00:10:00] knew that if we did not say something to these people, they saw us sitting there. So if we didn't say anything. Then I knew that every single day while they were here on their vacation in the Airbnb up the street, that they'd be down at this damn stream every single day.
And I'm sorry about, I don't want random families in my backyard. I got my own little kids. I got a dog that's running around like a lunatic half the time. You know, I don't want people in my yard. So I knew that if we didn't say something, they would automatically assume, well, well they're sitting here watching us and no one said anything.
So obviously it's a free for all. So luckily Nick did walk down out of the house, 'cause I mean, we're really up high. So he walked outta the house, walked all the way down to the stream, and just very nicely said like, hi, I'm the owner of this home. I'm not sure if you realize this, but this actually is private property here.
We own this property. We own the stream. We own all the way to the road. And you know what? The freaking people didn't even say that they were sorry. They didn't even apologize. They were basically just like, oh, really? You own all the way to the road? And [00:11:00] Nick was like, yeah, we own all the way to the road.
And I really would've appreciated it if you had asked before just coming onto our property. So you can play for the next few minutes, but I just wanted to let you know that this is our property here. And then within like a minute, they packed up and they left. You have to take a stand, otherwise people are going to shit all over you.
They're gonna walk all over you. And lemme tell you, I think another reason why I get so annoyed about this is because I lived a lifetime. Of people pleasing up until the age of 30 where I let people walk all over me. I let them say whatever they wanted to say. I never wanted to confront, I never wanted to ruffle feathers.
And now I don't give two shits. Like I don't. When you're 43 and you've had three kids, and you're trucking along through life and the clock is ticking, we don't have time for people to disrespect us. Right. And just let people walk all over us. We are not gonna act like we're in high school anymore.
So we dealt with that. So this is up to you with how you wanna deal with it, and I think this is one of the reasons too, why I created my Mindset Accelerator program. It's all about rewiring the mind for more happiness, [00:12:00] for more confidence in your life, being able to get rid of those people pleasing tendencies that I lived for with getting rid of the perfectionism, getting rid of the comparison game, all of that stuff.
It, it all ties together. So it's up to you how you wanna handle it, but either way, I want you to remember this. Feeling disrespected when someone crosses your boundary is not weakness. It's actually strength. It means that you care about the values that make you you. So I want you to honor that. I want you to honor yourself, and the next time that someone shows up in your space uninvited or says something that is crossing a line or crossing the boundaries.
Whether it's a literal stream in your backyard or something figurative in your life, just trust your reaction because it's trying to tell you something really important. So thanks so much for being here with me today. If this hit home, send me a DM or share this with someone who really needs to [00:13:00] hear this.
And if you're someone who's been trying to hold better boundaries or not, let other people's entitlement mess with your peace. Listen, I see you. You are not alone. Keep going. And you are more than welcome to join us in the Empowered Moms Business Circle community that has just started getting up and running.
you will get my Mindset Accelerator program, which is the key to being able to rewire your mind for more success, happiness, confidence, and alignment in your life when you become a member of this community. So not only will you get that program, which typically sells for $997, not only will you get that.
Completely for free. When you become a member of our community, that will change the game in all areas of your life. You will also be surrounded with a community of ambitious women who are really driven to just live their best lives possible. I'll drop the link in the show notes for that. You can go to kath I'll see you in there. Until next time, I'll see you next week. I hope you have an awesome day today. Thanks so much for being here. You know I love you [00:14:00] and I will see you the next time. Bye.
