[00:00:00] [00:01:00] Hey, my friend, what is up? And welcome back to another episode of Do Life Big. I am super excited to have you here today. Cheers with my Alani can, with my can of energy that I need because today as I'm recording, this is officially day one of summer vacation, which means all the kids are home with me today. I hope they don't come trying to barge in to the room here in the middle of this. So needless to say, I got a lot of caffeine flowing today, but I got a really awesome episode coming for you because I actually put a poll up on my Instagram story the other day and I asked, what was one of the things that you most struggle with? And I did a little poll and most people said that they struggled with self-doubt and just how to overcome it.
What should they do about it? So I figured that's a great idea for a podcast topic. So, it's gonna be going from self-doubt to self-belief, and really just how you [00:02:00] can silence that inner critic and take bold, confident action in your life instead of letting that inner critic that self-doubt run the show and control you and keep you from really just living the life of your dreams. Because after all, this is Do Life Big, and you are here for a reason. So I know that you are not average because you're listening to this podcast right now, and it's because you wanna grow and it's because you're awesome.
But you ever have just a brilliant idea, like you have this really awesome idea for something or to do something. Maybe it's a business idea. Maybe it's a business goal that you want to go toward, or this just big dream just that comes to your mind and you get so, so, so excited about it.
But then the second that you get excited for it, it's almost like you can hear that little whisper, that little voice right on your shoulder whispering into your ear. Like, who the heck do you think you are? That's never gonna work. That is what I'm talking about. That's the self-doubt. And the thing about it is it's literally stealing your dreams every single day. Every single day. But what I wanna talk about right now, real quick [00:03:00] before I even dive into this episode, is normalizing the fact that everybody has self-doubt. We need to normalize this. Even the most successful people have self-doubt. It doesn't hold them paralyzed.
They don't let their self-doubt have so much power over them. And so that's what we wanna break through, because self-doubt is really just rooted in fear. That's all it is. It's rooted in fear. It's usually rooted in a fear of failure, a fear of judgment, a fear of not being good enough, a fear of being seen as a beginner, and a lot of times it's rooted in the past to times in your past when you failed at something or fell short on something or you didn't live up to the expectations that you put on yourself in your business, in your life, just personally, whatever it is. it happens to all of us. It's totally normal, so you're not alone.
That's why so many people said on my poll that they struggled with self-doubt and they really wanted to learn how to work through this. We wanna be able to break through it, you know, even me, like I had this crazy [00:04:00] dream because, you know, I was going through the shift of running that health and wellness business for eight to 10 years.
It was all I knew. And then I. Navigated away from that and created my own course, the Mindset Accelerator Program. I launched this podcast, Do Life Big Just recently have been getting ready to open the doors to my Empowered Mom's Business Circle community. And so there's been a lot of changes and there's been a lot of shifts, and that's okay because that's what happens in business, right?
Sometimes you get into it and you realize, oh, this isn't really going the way that I wanted it to go. I really need to tweak this. But you don't know unless you actually. Get it out there, So I got it out there. But with all these shifts, comes some fears, right? And sometimes they come up subconsciously in your dreams.
And I have had some wild and crazy dreams recently. I don't know what's going on, but I had this one dream I. That I showed up to teach this free training, and there were only two people that showed up and there was a part of me, like I could see who was on the screen before I actually was on doing the training.
And I could [00:05:00] see that there were only two people on and. In my mind, like in my dream, I was like, that's stupid. There's only two people on. You know, don't go on. Why would you even show up for that? But then also in my dream, I reframed that thought, which is what I teach in my mindset accelerator program.
I reframed that thought in my mind too. Who cares that there's only two people on there. These two people need you right now. And these two people could drastically change the entire course of their life in their business personally, relationship wise, by listening. To this free training that you're going to give to them.
But you could just see some of that self-doubt creeping up even in my dreams. Like, is this the right move? Going from here to here and making the shift and making this pivot in my business. So my point is, is that this exists in all of us, but we just don't want it to hold us paralyzed and prevent us from really going after our dreams and doing life big.
I mean, that's why I named this podcast. Do Life Big to begin with, [00:06:00] right? I don't like to play small. I don't like to settle, right? I wanna go big and go after all the dreams that we want in life together. And if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. But at least we can look back and say, you know what?
At least we tried. But we need to learn how to work through and overcome self-doubt because there's a cost to letting it win. There's a cost to letting yourself doubt win and control you every single day. It causes delay, it causes a lot of burnout. It causes a lot of stress and anxiety. It causes you to play small.
It causes you to have a lot of missed opportunities. I mean, the list could go on and on. but the truth is, self-doubt doesn't just keep you stuck.
It creates a version of your life that's less than what you're meant for. And so people ask me all the time, how can I actually overcome this? Like, I know it exists. I feel it inside of me. What can I do about it? Like I know it's there. What can I do about it? So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna share with you the three Cs to crush your [00:07:00] self-doubt today.
You ready for this? It's gonna be good. So get ready, The first C is to catch the critic. Now, what this means is you really need to tune in and listen to yourself. Become very, very aware of just that inner voice, that little inner whisper. It's so quiet. Sometimes it's loud, but sometimes it's really quiet.
What is it saying to you, right? Like you're thinking that limiting thought. For a reason. It doesn't just pop into your head, right? So you're thinking this limiting thought, oh, I'm just not meant for this. I don't think I could do this. I'm not smart enough, whatever it is. Just before you had that thought, what were you thinking about?
You were thinking about something and that's what caused that limiting belief, and that's what caused that self doubt to creep in. Was it a business idea? Was it a business goal? Was it a discussion, thinking about a discussion that you need to have with someone? What was it? That you were just thinking about prior to that self-doubt, that inner critic whispering in your ear.
once you have that, then you ask [00:08:00] yourself this question, say it out loud first of all, and then you'll really sound like, geez, that was really bad. But also say to yourself, you know, would I actually say this to my child? Would I actually say this to my best friend? You know, you wouldn't because we are our own worst enemies, When our best friend is down and feeling out and feel lacking confidence and lacking belief in themselves, and just having a bad day, you build them up, right? You don't knock them down. You don't sit there and say, yeah, you're right. You really do suck. Life is never gonna get better for you.
You're in a downward spiral and you might as well just hang it up. Life just sucks totally. It's never gonna get better. Definitely don't bother going for that goal. Don't bother pushing through for that business. It's not even gonna be worth it. You're wasting your time. No, you don't do that. Maybe you do.
If you do, you're not one of my friends. None of my friends do that. We build each other up, but listen, you build the person up. But yet, when it comes to ourself, when it comes to something that [00:09:00] we're thinking about internally, about us, our life, our business, our relationships, we are our own worst enemies.
We talk so horribly to ourselves, right? But if we could just catch ourselves in it and just train our brains to be more aware and start to reframe those thoughts, you won't have things like self-doubt really slow you down and prevent you from going after the dreams that you want and living the life that you are here to live. So that's that first step is the first C is to catch the critic, catch it when it's happening, ask yourself, would I say this to a child or my best friend? The answer is going to be no. the second C is to choose a new story. Here's the deal. Self-doubt feeds off of your outdated beliefs from the past.
Oftentimes from times where you failed or things didn't work out, missed opportunities, and we're holding onto that old narrative, which is just a limiting belief. because your past does not dictate what you're capable of creating in the future. We know this. It's the thoughts of today that will create the future that you want.
[00:10:00] So if we can train our brain to think better thoughts today, then our environment, our business, our income, our friendships, everything will improve because our thoughts are better. So once you've had the first C, you're catching the critic. Now the second one is you're gonna choose that new story. You're gonna actually rewire a new story into your brain, and instead of listening to that inner critic like you usually do, when you hear that inner voice say, I don't think I'm ready for this, or I don't think I'm cut out for this, right? If you're thinking that, like, I'm not ready for this. Instead, what you're going to think is every expert once started as a beginner.
I'm a beginner. That's it, and that's how you rewire new thoughts into your brain. Every thought that you have today was just learned. It's learned from just repeating over and over and over again. So you can retrain your brain to think better, more empowering thoughts, and then you'll feel a hell of [00:11:00] a lot better and you won't suffer from things like feeling bad or having depression or anxiety because it all stems from your thoughts that you're thinking.
a really good free resource that I'd like to give you if you don't have it yet already is my completely free workbook. It's called Think This, Not That. Just go to kathireuter.com/thinkthisnotthat. I'll put it in the show notes, but I have 19 of the most common limiting beliefs that people think.
Those are those negative thoughts that are wired into our brain and what you can replace that thought with, it'll give you 19 of the most common limiting beliefs. And then 19 of the best, most empowering positive beliefs to reframe those thoughts with this is how you start to. Rewire your brain for more success and happiness in your life.
So make sure you get that if you haven't already grabbed it. I try to bring it up as often as I can, but it is really, really, really helpful. So that's the second C, choosing a new story. Now the third C is courage over [00:12:00] confidence. Most people have it wrong. Most people who get stuck in self-doubt, they think that they need to wait for the confidence to come first in order for them to take action, right? Like, so they're sitting around waiting for the confidence to come in order to take action.
That's where most people go wrong. It's actually the opposite. You must like, you absolutely have to. Hands down, no if, ands, or buts about it. You have to have the courage first to take the action and then the confidence will follow. That's the most important thing here that I want you to learn.
Confidence doesn't just come. Confidence is built over time by taking uncomfortable action time and time again, which stems from having courage. so just to recap that. The three Cs that you can start to implement today and use today to start to crush your self belief is number one, catch the critic.
Number two, choose a new story. And number three, courage over confidence. And now guys, nothing happens [00:13:00] overnight, right? I'm not gonna sit here and say, you know, you do this today and then for the rest of your life, you're never gonna have self-doubt hold you back again. Right? This is a practice, this is a way of life.
Just like how if you choose to be healthy, you're not on a timeline. Like, I'm just gonna be healthy for 30 days. Or I'm just gonna be healthy until the end of the year. It's a lifestyle choice. I. So this has to be a lifestyle choice. This has to be a way of life for you, that I want to feel the best I possibly can about myself.
I wanna feel confident, I want to have energy. I wanna think good thoughts about me. Even when situations go south, like I want to be able to really live into the best version of myself and create the best life possible for myself and my family, which is a way of life.
And it's a practice day in and day out. There's not a day that goes by that I don't actually practice this stuff myself. It never goes away, I'm a healthy person. There's not a day day that goes by that I don't drink a ton of water, that I don't prioritize eating healthy, that I don't prioritize eating [00:14:00] a high amount of protein and lifting weights.
It's a way of life. I'm gonna do it forever, just like I'm gonna do this forever. And I hope that you do the same thing too, because everything stems from mindset, everything. That's why I love teaching it. So I'm just digressing a little bit here. So let's go into the next little piece here. I'm gonna give you two tools now that you can do every day.
Two daily practices. You can do them both every day to help you overcome the self-doubt or just do one, whatever works best for you. get a journal. And every day when you have a minute, just sit down and write the following prompt at the top of it. If I fully believed in myself today, I would blank. So if I fully believed in myself today, I would.
What would you do? All the different things. What could you say? If I fully believed in myself today, I would finally go live and talk about my offer. Even if I stumbled and messed up a little bit, I would finally raise my [00:15:00] prices, because I know the value that I bring. I would finally send the email that I've been avoiding because I'm afraid no one's going to answer or respond to it.
I would finally celebrate how far I've come instead of how far I still have to go. Like what would that look like for you? If you fully believed in yourself today, what would you do differently? I.
And the second thing, which is I think everything in life is to make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people who remind you what's freaking possible. I'm serious. Look at your circle. Are they expanders? Do they lift you up? Do they support you? Do they encourage you to go for your dreams or do they try to get you to stay small, try to get you to stay in your comfort zone?
Are they constantly gossiping about people? Are they negative? Are they toxic? You don't wanna be around those kinds of people because that's only going to feed the anxiety inside of you. It's only going to increase your [00:16:00] self-doubt that you have. So, I mean, I could have a whole nother episode on this, maybe the next one.
I've learned a lot of hard lessons over the last 15 years in this area with making sure that you're surrounding yourself with the right people. And especially if you're going through a hard time in business, in life, with a friendship in a relationship. Surround yourself with the person who's going to help you bring you out of that.
And what I mean by that is, if you're struggling right now in a certain area, don't go hang out and get advice from someone who's also struggling in that area. I remember when I was running my business the first one years ago, I mean, this was a long time ago, probably like maybe like six years ago, seven years ago now.
And I was just going through a really bad time in the business and it was when I was going through my multiple six figure income plateau that I had gone through, and instead of seeking out other people in the business who were still growing their income consistently month after month, year after year, instead, I started to kind [00:17:00] of rope myself in with the other people who were in similar situations as me.
Which was the worst thing I could have done because all we did was talk about how this business sucks. It's not gonna go anywhere. We've reached our max, let's just move on. And it was just negative, negative, negative. ironically made me feel better for a second because I was like, oh, see, I'm not alone.
I'm not the only one. Right. It wasn't until I said, okay, this is not like, this isn't helping me. Where I said, you know, I need to move on and I need to be surrounding myself with people that are actually making shit happen. Even though like get over the pride, get over the fact that you're at an income plateau.
Don't be embarrassed by it and get with the people who are kicking ass and taking names, right? It's the same thing for you in any area that you're going through right now. Think about that. Surround yourself with people who remind you what's possible. Those are my two tools that you can use every day so far.
Just that one journal prompt. [00:18:00] If I fully believed in myself today, I would What? We've all got those things that we know where I go, I really should do that. And then you don't do it. I really wanna do that, but I just don't feel quite ready. And surround yourself with people who remind you of what's possible.
you were not born with self-doubt. None of us were. Neither was I. It's all learned. The self-doubt was learned, and if you learned it, then you can unlearn it. That's the positive piece here that I wanna convey. don't wait until you feel confident. Choose to show up messy. Choose to show up scared. Choose to show up. Doubting yourself and doubting whether or not it's going to work out. Still show up. Show up anyways, because that's how you Do Life Big. That's how you reach your goals. That's how you really build a life that you can look back on and say, I didn't settle. I did it anyway. I did [00:19:00] it scared.
I did it messy. I did it even though people doubted me. I did it freaking anyways because it was on my heart. And if it's on your heart, that means that you also have the resourcefulness to figure it out and you will. You have to show up anyways, it's crazy because sometimes, we do think that self-doubt is this like big, bold thing.
It creeps up only when we're thinking about like making a million dollars or like being on Oprah one day or being in this amazing, entrepreneurial magazine or, whatever it is. But in all honesty, it actually shows up in the tiny decisions that we make every day. It shows up in the things hitting, publish, just showing your face on the camera, having the hard conversation, sending the email. But that's where the confidence is built. So I hope that you enjoyed today's episode. And before you go, I've got some really exciting news for you because the doors to my Empowered Moms Business Circle community [00:20:00] will be opened on Thursday.
June 5th. I'm so excited about this. I'm limiting it to the first 50 founding members, it is going to be so kick ass. I have an info group all set up on Facebook for free if you wanna get in there. If you're the ambitious mom who's running an online business and you're ready to finally break through the income plateaus, you're finally ready to break through those income plateaus.
Build the six figures and beyond. You're ready to finally quiet the self-doubt and finally build that consistent momentum month after month. Finally, build that confidence. Finally build that clarity that you've been craving in your business. This is for you. If you know that you're meant for more and you're just sick and tired of spinning your wheels, you're sick and tired of doing it alone, and you're sick and tired of feeding into the BS line of I have to hustle and work harder in longer to finally get to where I wanna go and sacrifice more time away from my [00:21:00] family.
That's not what this is all about. That is all a big myth. So this is for you. If you want a business that you can build alongside me and a bunch of other ambitious moms that building a business that actually fits into your life without that hustle, without the burnout, without the guilt, without having to miss more time away from your family.
This is for you. So if you wanna get on the wait list and learn more about it and register for that, just go to kathireuter.com/empowered and I just can't wait to see it in that community. So thanks so much for listening today. You know I love you. I think you're awesome. You got this, and I'll see you the next time.
Bye.[00:22:00]
